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IMMIGRATION JOKES

Elevators

A boy and his father (new immigrants in Canada), were visiting a shopping centre. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father:
"What is this, Dad?"
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded: "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room.
The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction.
The walls opened up again and a beautiful and atractive 24-year-old woman stepped out.
The father shouts to his son: "GO GET YOUR MOTHER!!!"
Sausages

There was a lady who immigrated in Canada and married an Canadian gentleman. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but anyhow managed to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.
One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy pork legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. The butcher got the message and the lady went home with pork legs.
The next day, she needed to get chicken breasts. Again, she didn't know how to say, and so unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breast. The lady got what she wanted.
The third day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. So, she brought her husband to the store... because he spoke English.
The other side of the ocean

There's an immigrant in Canada was talking on phone with his relative in Europe. And he was asked "Iíve very poor life here. Maybe you can help me. How do I get to the other side of the ocean?"
The immigrant in Toronto thought for a moment and answered: "But you ARE on the other side of the ocean."
Conversetion in Canadian Embassy

Parts of the conversetion in Canadian Embassy between the Visa Oficer and an aplicant for a visa:
O: All your responses must be oral, OK?
A: OK

O: What school did you go to?
A: Oral.

After a short explaination, the conversation continued:
O: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.

O: What year?
A: Every year.

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