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MACEDONIA JOKES

Sorry Ladies and Gentlemen

A plane was taking off from Skopje Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom: "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 78, non-stop from Skopje to Toronto. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back, relax... and - OOOH MY GOD!"
Silence followed and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said: "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I was talking, the flight-attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"
One of the passengers said: "That's nothing. He should see the back of mine!"
Only once?

An American and a Canadian were seated next to a Macedonian on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives.
"Last night I made love to my wife four times," the American bragged, "and this morning she made me delicious crepes and she told me how much she adored me."
"Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Canadian responded, "and this morning she made me a wonderful omelette and told me she could never love another man."
When the Macedonian remained silent, the Canadian smugly asked, "And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?"
"Once," he replied.
"Only once?" the American arrogantly snorted. "And what did she say to you this morning?"
"Don't stop."
Top ten reasons for being Macedonian

1. You have to persue that your state exists.
2. You have to persue that your language is not Bulgarian or Serbian.
3. You have to persue that you are a descendant of Alexander the Great and piss off the Greeks.
4. You can sing Partisan songs about Tito and epic songs about Goce Delcev.
5. You get to be researched by foreign sociologists interested in your identity.
6. You don't have to work even when you have to work, because you donít have a work.
7. You get to be cosmopolitan and spit on all the nationalists.
8. You can smuggle cigarettes to West Europe and live like a king.
9. You are the only country in the world with two names and two flags.
10. Your country has the best climate conditions for producing of tomatoes (and still your country imports tomatoes).
The population of Macedonia is 2.000.000

400.000 are retired.
That leaves 1.600.000 to do the work.
There are 500.000 in school, which leaves 1.100.000 to do the work.
Of this there are 100.000 employed by the government, leaving 1.000.000 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 100,000 people in hospitals and also, with the last activities of the new government there are 200.000 people in prisons, which leaves only 700.000 to do the work.
But 699.999 of them are unemployed.
That leaves just ONE to do the work.
Thatís YOU (if you're Macedonian).
And you're sitting at your computer reading my jokes...

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